Wow so many deft and insightful passages that felt written directly at me 😂 really loved this piece! Did you come up with the phrase “when a door closes, a room appears”? Because if so it’s a banger 👏
This has haunted me for a while and I’m still not over it. When I was in my early twenties, a girl told me and a friend we had so much potential. I couldn’t sleep that night and in the dark I asked my friend if there would be a day potential wasn’t enough. We hid in our potential possibilities, wore them like garments, until they are stripped away from us to reveal the only things we truly committed to
this hit deep, i like the reframing here of freedom being "the capacity to author a life without first being guaranteed that it is the correct one" - as someone who tends to be a dreamer it's enticing to imagine new beginnings instead but that often just leads to paralysis (anxiety is the dizziness of freedom and all that). i definitely need to read either/or now. thank you for writing!
The phenomenon of people, often high-energy strivers, compartmentalizing their lives into smaller pieces of potentiality is very sympathetic. We all with to be the best version of ourselves, and often times that necessitates ideation of which version of ourselves we believe we'll like the most. People throw around the idea of "extended adolescence" sometimes, and I find myself agreeing somewhat especially concerning the tech sector and the people who inhabit it, but there is a distinction. When we're teenagers we're equally excited and terrified of what we might become. When you're an adult chasing the next mode of self-discovery, you lie in bed terrified of who you might already be. Thanks for sharing!
Yeah, resonation nation. One of my biggest fears is taking the wrong life path, and then worrying about it forever. Crazy how the imaginary stories that never materialised can occupy so much of our mind currency
I started acquiring depth when breadth didnt define me and that depth has taught me more about myself than all the diverse experiences before. Beautifully written.
As someone who has gotten insomnia over all the things I try to do and be, this was a very insightful read and now Either/Or is at the top of my to read list. There is such excitement in trying new things in this 'side quest era' of social media which isn't bad whatsoever but it does get tiring and I do feel that it is also slightly rooted in ego of having the capability to try new things.
Had a similar revelation one night after moving to San Francisco to pursue the as-described dream of disruption. Found myself alone at a bar looking at a Twiliocon billboard realizing I’d made terrible choices with my life.
I’ve been in NYC now for 7 years, and while the Cartier billboard doesn’t hit much differently, at least there’s enough people here who both don’t want to and don’t have to work that one can find some interesting personalities about to talk to.
I started reading your post because I’m thinking of moving to SF to join the start up culture. But it’s a great reminder that my problem of optionsmaxxing which you so aptly described will not disappear just because I’m there. Hormozi did a great podcast with Chris Williamson about making trades as well. And I feel after wandering across multiple disciplines over a few years that choosing a path is courage, and not doing so is cowardice - a fear of failure and boring hard work.
Wow so many deft and insightful passages that felt written directly at me 😂 really loved this piece! Did you come up with the phrase “when a door closes, a room appears”? Because if so it’s a banger 👏
I've heard this phrase before
This has haunted me for a while and I’m still not over it. When I was in my early twenties, a girl told me and a friend we had so much potential. I couldn’t sleep that night and in the dark I asked my friend if there would be a day potential wasn’t enough. We hid in our potential possibilities, wore them like garments, until they are stripped away from us to reveal the only things we truly committed to
this hit deep, i like the reframing here of freedom being "the capacity to author a life without first being guaranteed that it is the correct one" - as someone who tends to be a dreamer it's enticing to imagine new beginnings instead but that often just leads to paralysis (anxiety is the dizziness of freedom and all that). i definitely need to read either/or now. thank you for writing!
The phenomenon of people, often high-energy strivers, compartmentalizing their lives into smaller pieces of potentiality is very sympathetic. We all with to be the best version of ourselves, and often times that necessitates ideation of which version of ourselves we believe we'll like the most. People throw around the idea of "extended adolescence" sometimes, and I find myself agreeing somewhat especially concerning the tech sector and the people who inhabit it, but there is a distinction. When we're teenagers we're equally excited and terrified of what we might become. When you're an adult chasing the next mode of self-discovery, you lie in bed terrified of who you might already be. Thanks for sharing!
Yeah, resonation nation. One of my biggest fears is taking the wrong life path, and then worrying about it forever. Crazy how the imaginary stories that never materialised can occupy so much of our mind currency
Oh man I loved this and will probably come back to reread this
indecision is a decision in itself
what the hell why is this a profile of my life
Well put. I am reminded of Freedom Through Limitation and Natur und Kunst.
I started acquiring depth when breadth didnt define me and that depth has taught me more about myself than all the diverse experiences before. Beautifully written.
As someone who has gotten insomnia over all the things I try to do and be, this was a very insightful read and now Either/Or is at the top of my to read list. There is such excitement in trying new things in this 'side quest era' of social media which isn't bad whatsoever but it does get tiring and I do feel that it is also slightly rooted in ego of having the capability to try new things.
totally agree. would highly recommend you check out byung chul han’s burn out society
Had a similar revelation one night after moving to San Francisco to pursue the as-described dream of disruption. Found myself alone at a bar looking at a Twiliocon billboard realizing I’d made terrible choices with my life.
I’ve been in NYC now for 7 years, and while the Cartier billboard doesn’t hit much differently, at least there’s enough people here who both don’t want to and don’t have to work that one can find some interesting personalities about to talk to.
I love this piece. Great writing. Moved me.
So good
I started reading your post because I’m thinking of moving to SF to join the start up culture. But it’s a great reminder that my problem of optionsmaxxing which you so aptly described will not disappear just because I’m there. Hormozi did a great podcast with Chris Williamson about making trades as well. And I feel after wandering across multiple disciplines over a few years that choosing a path is courage, and not doing so is cowardice - a fear of failure and boring hard work.
A life without limits may contain every possible self, but it cannot give any of them substance.
What a beautiful sentence and sentiment.
This is a fantastic piece